


Fire Emblem: Weird Awakenings

by DarthYautja



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Bizarre psuedo-crossovers, No Plot, Outrealm, crackfic, kid's generation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthYautja/pseuds/DarthYautja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucina and the other children wake up in one of the weirdest Outrealms yet...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire Emblem: Weird Awakenings

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the rights to Fire Emblem or any of the other franchises that will be alluded to

**Fire Emblem: Weird Awakenings**

 

            The morning began much like any other. The first rays of dawn touched their camp, and Yarne’s wake-up scream rent the calm air. Unfortunately, that was where the day’s normalcy ended for Lucina and her fellow time-travelers.

            As soon as the heir to House Ylisse sat up, the strangeness of the day became apparent. Not the fact that across the clearing Yarne was attempting to scale a tree in groggy terror. That was ordinary enough. What was odd was that the taguel had turned into a small purple dog overnight.

            Lucina slowly looked around the camp. Everyone had changed during the night. Some had only had their clothes changed, others had their forms changed like Yarne, but had kept their outfits. There was no pattern Lucina could discern, so she sucked in a breath to shout her brother Morgan and the group’s egghead Laurent awake.

            “MEEP! MEEP!” Lucina’s tongue shot out of its own accord and waggled at the world before retreating. As she looked down at herself in bewilderment the rest of her compatriots awoke, startled by the unfamiliar noise.

            First to react was Lucina’s husband Brady, who had been sleeping next to her. He looked much the same as ever, except his monk’s robes were gone, replaced by a black suit with a skull splashed prominently across his chest. He scrambled upright, flailing madly for his staff and axe. Next was Morgan, who had kept his clothes but had turned into a thin wolf-like creature, though his eyes were just bright with odd ideas.

Cynthia hovered next to Yarne, trying to coax her lover down. While this was also normal, Cynthia had turned into a short blond girl with absurdly massive blue eyes and no fingers. She was also not astride her Pegasus, who stood at the base of the tree, looking just as lost as Lucina felt. Nearby, Gerome’s wyvern Minerva was studying her rider and his partner. Gerome himself was wearing an extremely flamboyant outfit, and one side of his face was covered by a white mask. Nah, his partner, seemed to have changed the least in that she had merely become blue and scaly.

A litany of complaints and oddly unintelligible noises came from where Severa and Owain had fallen asleep. Severa had become a small gray kitten and Owain was now a yellow dog with a massive tongue. Just beyond them Kjelle had become a huge reptilian monster with an excessively wide mouth. Laurent, now only two feet tall and with white robes, cowered between Kjelle’s massive legs.

From Morgan’s other side came an atypical scream of rage as Noire, his significant other sat up. Like Kjelle, she was much larger than the previous night. She had also turned green. Her expression was one of baffled fury as she also surveyed the camp, her eyes coming to rest on Inigo, who had turned into an older man. He was also eyeballing the camp, his expression somewhere between cynical amusement and alarm.

“I must be dreaming” Inigo said sleepily. His voice had also changed, gaining a thick accent Lucina couldn’t place.

“I don’t think so.” Laurent’s voice was a little higher than usual. “We all appear to be experiencing the same events. If you were dreaming, then the rest of us would also have to be dreaming. So far there has been no evidence of shared dreaming in the real world.”

“Outrealm, then?” Brady’s voice was far grimmer than Lucina had heard before.

“A distinct possibility. Curious. I feel strangely compelled to construct an unfeasibly large armored exoskeleton for myself. I also desire to prove my unquestionable superiority in all matters scientific.”

“No change there,” Severa said nastily, “now will someone tell me why I’m suddenly cuter and Owain has stopped saying anything sensible?”

“Since when does Owain say anything sensible?” Kjelle growled. Her wide-set, pale blue eyes focused balefully on Severa’s tiny body. “Don’t think that being cute will save you. Do not insult Laurent’s honor again.”

“You were so good at being ladylike,” Severa said plaintively, “what happened?”

“You turned into a kitten and insulted Laurent. I became some big lizard with a stronger bloodthirst than normal. What’s not to get?”

‘SILENCE! OR NOIRE WILL SMASH ALL THE PUNY, IRRITATING FRIENDS!”

Morgan, who had been doodling on the ground with his claw, looked up at that. “That’s different,” he mused. “Noire, how does hitting a bug with an anvil sound?”

“NOIRE LIKE!”

“Why an anvil? And why is she talking like Father?” Gerome had half turned away from the group, presenting the masked side of his face.

“I don’t know. Just as Laurent suddenly feels the need for armored exoskeletons, I feel the need to incorporate anvils into all my future battle plans. Perhaps you or Cynthia could drop them from the air.”

“No way!” Cynthia’s voice was emphatic as the hug she had Yarne trapped in. “I charge into battle openly, a force of justice, honor, and… ooooooo, Severa is soooo cute!”

“She sheems much the way she ushually doesh.” Inigo’s strange accent was thickening. “I, however, find myshelf more inclined to pursue women and drinks.” He sat up with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Enough!” Lucina finally managed to get a human word out. “We’ve clearly blundered into an Outrealm, now let’s find a way out. There’s likely a group of insane Risen or Eiherjar wandering around. Let’s find them and kill them. Then we should be able to find our way out of here. MEEP! MEEP!”

“I like the part about killing,” Brady muttered as they set off.

***

They travelled through the forest for several hours. Lucina had rapidly discovered her new birdlike body was much faster than the others, and had to consciously slow herself down to remain with the group. Owain and Severa, being much smaller than the others, were carried by Kjelle. Morgan and Laurent were animatedly discussing improbable and dangerous creations for whatever fight they would find themselves in, always circling back to anvils and armored exoskeletons. Brady had overnight developed an assassin’s bearing, as had Inigo, and the pair of them moved ahead of the main group, silent and deadly. Nah had discovered she had a far wider range of shapes to shift into, and spent most of the morning practicing until she gave up and assumed her original, human appearance. Gerome, who walked beside her, kept the unmasked side of his face hidden while nervously fingering his axe. Cynthia hovered in the air, her personality even more bubbly than usual. Her bemused Pegasus walked along beneath her, Yarne hiding in its saddlebags. Noire thudded along at the back next to Minerva, her heavy footfalls shaking the earth with every step,

It was early afternoon when they finally left the forest behind them and saw a village in the distance. They also got their first good look at the sky, which had become an odd kaleidoscope of blue. With their location now confirmed as an Outrealm, they headed for the village without hesitation.

When they reached the village an hour later none of the inhabitants seemed at all surprised by their odd appearences. Inigo took this as sign to start smiling suavely at anything and everything female, while Brady drew back near Gerome and avoided eye contact. Cynthia sped up, darting here and there as she examined the street ahead with a childlike glee. Morgan paused outside a large open space with a pile of anvils and red barrels marked TNT, whatever that was. Lucina felt a strong urge to run up behind him and make that weird noise she’d been making since waking up. Kjelle had set Owain and Severa down, and was explaining her to the townsfolk her desire to fight and determine the strongest. Or to headbutt someone.

“Lucina, over here!” Laurent called out excitedly as they explored the town square. He was examining a small sign that read

 

**Welcome to Crackficsvilled**

**Home of the oddly written truly inexplicable**

**Outrealm Gate that way ←**

 

“We’re going.” Lucina said shortly.

A league down the road they found the Outrealm Gate. Unlike its previous, impressive appearance, this one had been heavily grafitied. As her friends passed through Lucina paused to read some of the messages.

_Fourth walls were made to be broken_

_Because to hell with logic_

_Why not?_

_Everyone who has passed through here has had way too much time on their hands’_

_Thank whatever gods are listening that’s no long in my head_

_Kudos will not result in follow-ups_

Lucina shook her head and followed the others. She was certain she did not want to know what that particular Outrealm was all about. Once back in their familiar, reasonably safe world they all agreed not to speak of the incident again and beat a hasty retreat back to Ylisstol.

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that was bouncing around my head. One of my co-workers gets credit for turning Brady into the Punisher and Nah into Mystique. The rest is a result of too much Fire Emblem too late at night. Hope it was fun.


End file.
